藍色矢車菊 ◎柴柏松

 十首台灣詩X十位愛爾蘭詩人朗讀

　　

藍色矢車菊　◎#柴柏松

　

沒入兵役體檢室，緩慢地我旋進

旋進地面沉沉的流沙，

看見無數門窗敞開（或闃然地

隱閉），許多張陌生臉孔

震動喉結與聲襞——

士兵們衣物褪盡，開襟的

罩袍底呈示出雄渾地

臂膀與闊肩。我似乎預見，

年輕的體魄們持槍

進入射擊位置。

　

盤起過肩黑髮，

我掩飾略施脂粉的腮頰

輕解羅衫，像雛妓

在人前獻祭初熟的時日。

沒人發現我褪下的麻質長裙

在置物櫃裡放大了

怖慄——走進體檢列隊之中

彷彿雨水投入湖心，失去

被區辨的線索，

陰影洶湧地向我麋集。

　

終於哀傷起來了。

X 光切碎我的

身體，我假想在場的人們，

能看見我沉睡於腔體的乳房，像白鴿

舒展她毫無所畏的翅膀。

帷幔背後，一些目光掠過，

不會有人吧——不會

有人能證實這體檢室不是我

應該棲止的捕籠。檢測片緊貼著

我在床上，聽心電圖響徹促音。

　

屏息，在列隊裡

我等候醫師涉手每個士兵陰部的囊袋。

斜靠牆頭，廊緣

一盆藍色矢車菊1靜靜萎頓——

每一分鐘每一秒鐘，葉脈不斷地

浮出皺紋。我無法設想

輪到我的那刻

世界如何無動於衷，且我肯定無法設想

一位雛妓如何從女孩變成女人。

矢車菊葉貼伏在地上，終於疲憊地掉落。

　

體檢記錄表。櫃檯。

士兵們成群結伴地袒胸更衣，

沒有人看見一雙沉默

歷劫後的眼——躲進隔間

放下過肩黑髮，整好身上一襲麻質長裙。

緩慢地我旋進

旋進地面沉沉的流沙，

看見無數門窗敞開（或闃然地

隱閉），許多張陌生臉孔離開——

我的雙腳卻無能拔出來

　

--

　

“Blue Cornflower”

by Chai Po-sung (1993-)

Translated by Colin Bramwell and Wen-chi Li

Read by

　

I didn’t go into the physical examination room

but slowly swirled into heavy quicksand

I saw countless doors and windows open (or quietly

close), many strange faces

vibrating Adam’s apples and vocal folds—

the soldiers’ clothes were taken off

their robust arms and shoulders 

could be seen under the robes. 

I foresaw young bodies holding guns

and waiting in line to shoot

　

I did my hair in a bun

hid my cheeks (they had a little face powder) 

undressed myself, like a child prostitute

sacrificing their first fruit in front of a crowd

no one had noticed my long linen skirt

was laid in the locker, its fear intensifying— 

I joined the examination line

like a raindrop falling into a lake 

and losing its distinguishable features

shadows violently pulled me under

　

I started to mourn

as the X-ray dismembered my body, 

I imagined the people here

could see my breasts sleeping in their cavity, 

like a pigeon stretching her wings without fear

behind the curtains some eyes inspected me

can anyone confirm this room 

is not a cage? 

On the bed, with patches on my skin

I listened to the cardiac monitor

　

I held my breath in line

waiting for the physician who touched each soldier’s genitals

leaning against the wall, at the end of the corridor

a pot of blue cornflowers  was quietly withering

every minute, every second their veins slowly

wrinkled. When my time came

I couldn’t imagine how the world could be

so indifferent, I couldn’t imagine

how a child prostitute could turn from a girl into a woman

the cornflower leaves languished and finally fell

　

Examination record form. Service counter

A group of soldiers changed their clothes 

their chests were exposed but no one saw 

a pair of silent eyes after the calamity— I hid myself

in another room, released my long hair

put on a linen dress, slowly swirled into

heavy quicksand

and saw countless doors and windows open (or quietly close) 

and many strange faces, leaving the room—

but I could not pull my feet out of the sand

　

聽詩人Anna Loughran 朗讀：

https://youtu.be/n88ETzVBDzc

　

 #每天為你讀一首詩  #柴柏松 #Chai_Po_sung #藍色矢車菊  #Blue_Cornflower #Anna_Loughran #台灣詩選 #Taiwanese_Poetry #駐愛爾蘭台北代表處 #愛爾蘭文學館 #Museum_of_Literature_Ireland